So all my recent blogs about the click and the thing and letting go- I am a liar.  A total liar- sorry guys.  Because I did exactly what I tell all my friends NOT to do.  Igot sucked back in by the ex- the one- the ass- ha!  I let him talk to me and I believed him and all the crap that happened why we broke up (essentially his words never matched his actions- well the issue was actually that he never took ANY action) went away and I truly believed for a moment that things had changed.  And then WHAM!  Punch in the gut.  Which I probably karmic-ally deserved for all the punching in the face I did over The Bachelor (if you haven’t read that blog- read down!).

I cannot believe I cried.  In front of people.  In a bar.  And my bartender, my sweet, sweet bartender, said, “At least now I know your human.”  Which in a weird way made me feel a little bit better. 

It’s time to face facts.  He likes what he gets from me and I give it freely (he lives in another country, so don’t go there people).  He will never give back to me.  The thing is I don’t fall in love easily or often, so maybe its more heartwrenching to me when someone throws it away.  Throws me away.  And even today he is so passive aggressive.  Well, if that’s what you want- I’ll back off.  No, of course that’s not what I want.  I want you to stop being a complete and total selfish asshole.  I want you to give back, just a little bit.  I want you to get your stupid ass on a plane and see me and hold me and see where this is going and why we are so stuck on each other after 2 years.  I want to be one of your priorities.  I want you to care about my day, my life.  But he, he just wants me here, always there for him, knowing someone out there loves him I guess is enough.  To me love is a verb, to him, apparently it’s an adjective.

So that’s it folks.  I’ll get over it.  I always do.  You have to, right?  At least I know I have the capacity to love.   And I have great friends, and a great bartender.  That’s something!

Found my heart and it SUCKS in sin city.

So a couple of weeks ago, a friend and I went to Hard Rock’s Center Bar.  We sometimes like to go there and play with tourists.  You know- sometimes we pretend my roommate can’t speak English and I translate, sometimes we are tourists, sometimes we tell them we are hookers just to scare the hell out of them, yada, yada.  It’s just something to do that, face it, you can only do if you live in Vegas.  But this last time, I must have been putting out a weird vibe or something.

So my friend goes to the bathroom and one of the bartenders comes over and hands me a slip of paper and tells me that one of the other bartenders wants to give me his number.  Of course, this other bartender is short, older, a little balding- in other words, really- not my type.  I already have a thing about dating someone in hospitality just because of the stress it puts on a relationship- especially when I am a 9-5′er.  He then comes over and tells me he didn’t ask him to do that but I am free to use it whenever I want and then takes care of our next round of drinks.  I guess that was cool- payment for my embarrassment.  I couldn’t tell my friend what was going on since we were sitting right in front of him, so I texted her.  We then proceeded to text back and forth about the situation.  Although, she was impressed with her upgraded free drink which was about twice the size of the one she paid for. . .

The next part I have to clarify because my friend use to date/be friends with a dealer there.  So, periodically, we would hang out there and we met a few of the dealers.  She then proceeds to tell me on the way back from the bathroom, a different dealer stopped her and asked if I was there.  He then got her number and asked her if I would want to go get a drink with him.  The whole arrange a date through a friend thing was kind of weird to me as we are all in our 30’s.  It was a little too, “find out if she likes me” sort of thing.  He seems nice enough, but again, not really my type.  All this action in one night!  LOL!

So I am still chatting online with the ex.  Sigh.  I guess I will never learn.  It is a little different and I did mean it about the click.  I still enjoy talking to him- he is really one of my best friends, with sexual undertones.  Which would be perfect if he lived in this country.  I guess where its different is when we are talking about visiting one another- I know, deep down, it won’t happen.  It’s just not one of his priorities.  I also know having expectations will just cause me disappointment and heartache.  But I like talking to him, so I will continue too, just no hope there anymore that maybe we could end up happy, well happy and together.  Hopefully we both end up happy! 

So now I’ve tried getting fixed up, the bar scene, the dance club scene, the online thing. . . please let me know what else to try- I think I am running out of options here!  (Although, no blind dates- see below!)

On the lighter side of life, my friend did agree to go on a blind date fix up.  She is 5′10″.  I mean, if you think I have height issues!  So the guy shows up, is about 5′5″ and apparently looked like relative of Danny DeVito from Guam- oh, with the lovely addition of a mole on the side of his nose!  Gotta love blind dates!

Still single in sin city!

Sorry I haven’t been posting.  There hasn’t been much to post really.  Kind of a dating dry spell- it really is a desert out there!  But I have one on this flirty banter I still have with an ex.  And it led to this conversation with my girlfriends about women and men.  A common thread was this “click off” women have.  It’s a weird thing- we try and try and we are forgiving and funny and in love, essentially.  Then a day comes and “click” it’s off.  We just can’t do it anymore.  Now in our defence this normally comes when a relationship has deteriorated but the man just seemingly ignores it, and we try and try and then we are done.  The fascinating thing is that once we are done, suddenly we are wanted again.  Suddenly, we are getting attention- the attention we wanted months ago, when we asked, we talked to it, we then yelled, then cried, etc., etc.  So now when the guy is wondering what the hell happened, it’s off.  We’re done.  It’s too late.  Good-bye.  This happened in my marriage.  I saw things slipping away.  I asked for conversations, I asked for weekly meals together, I asked for a date night and finally I was done.  I didn’t want to live my life always asking.  See, us women, we actually don’t like nagging and being the complainer.  We would rather have good times and laughter, but in meeting the man’s needs, sometimes we have our own, and when they are not being met, we will try and try again for the sake of love.  I am just tired of men getting it after the emotions have been turned off and there is no going back.  Why does it take us leaving for them to appreciate what they have?

So how did this all come up. . . well, I still had this flirty banter, but was in reality trying to get on with my life because I had realized awhile ago that it wouldn’t work, but I guess I just always had this hope.  Then this weekend and Monday- click.  off.  I am actually kind of sad.  I know it will never, ever be the same and I know he will never realize it. . . maybe someday he will and he will ask what happened and I will say that day I said I was done.  You thought it was a mood perhaps, but I really meant I was done.  It was and will never be the same.  And I am a little saddened by that thought and a little saddened that day may or may not ever come, but that realization is what made it go “click.”

A little sad in sin city. . .

Okay, so I had a date last night. Not even a really date. . . really. . . a guy came over, we had a glass of wine, we watched a movie, he left, I took a handful of allergy medicine and passed out. But here is my question. What is a good “age gap” when dating. I know its not suppose to matter anymore, but the guy was a little bit younger in age and just soooooo much younger in maturity. The movie he picked seemed young, the wine he picked seemed young, the conversation seemed young. I’ve hung out with him a few times before but hadn’t seen him in awhile. Maybe it was dating desperation that I accepted last night, who knows.

So this movie he picks is the dark college comedy and the whole time I can’t help thinking, wow- my 10 year college reunion is THIS YEAR. Then the movie starts with this horrible scene that he is kind of giggling about and all I can think of is, “wouldn’t she scream? wouldn’t she report this? I mean, the other guy is holding a freaking camera with all the evidence. . . ” And, I had to realize that I have apparently graduated from the dark, indie type movie about stoned college kids has gone over my head. Or beneath my feet- however you choose to look at it.

I just want to know- what happened to dinner! I mean, I blogged about this in the past – the whole, what happened to the date, but I mean really. I cannot remember the last time I went out on a date- got picked up, he held the door, we went to dinner, etc. Is it just the men I am meeting or has the date gone the way of the first motorola flip phone?

So, SingleInSinCity is now on twitter, and I am trying to be fairly good about it. I have a longtime friend flying in this weekend for some girl time so I get to play tourist for a weekend. So find me on twitter because the updates should be good! If I stay sober enough to remember to do it. If not, keep checking for the blogs- they should be good. I think the next one will be about my ex-boyfriend and his want of a nickname for his mentions here. Maybe we can take a poll!

Keep referring us! Our numbers are growing and we are very excited to keep bringing you are bad dates, girl talk, and adventures in sin city.

~SingleInSinCity~ tweet! tweet!

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Okay, so first off to admit I actually watched this stupid show says a lot about me.  Let me qualify by saying I am not a normal viewer and other than one other episode, have not even watched this season- any season for that matter, and last night, my roommate and I sat down to watch- literally the last 5 minutes to see who he picked.  I didn’t even know that whole “After the Final Rose” was playing after until it started and by then I was sucked in.

First off, my roommate thinks, and I tend to agree, that Melissa is the most annoying girl in the world.  Now, my limited viewing might make you think I am not qualified to judge, BUT- when anyone speaks of themselves in the third person over and over, I think that qualifies as annoying.  Hell, I think it qualifies for a punch in the face.  Now despite that, I did manage to hear what she said and I do think she had a few good points in there, but whatever, that is not where my fury for the show even begins.

My fury lies with this total ass punk of a guy who is playing the good guy, father, whatever, whatever, that changes his mind- doesn’t have the decency to not tell her on television in front of millions of viewers, then to pride himself on his honesty, and want a second shot at the first girl he dumped in front of millions of people.  THEN to top it off, this doe eyed, complete idiot of a woman actually gives him another chance!  I mean what an opportunity to stand up for all women and tell this guy, who is obviously not trustworthy, not kind and thinks only of himself, to stick it in his ear!  I wanted to punch her in the face!

I mean, where in “reality” tv is the actual woman I know- the kind that would say, wait, you chose her- you left me, and now that didn’t work out, so now you want to see where it is with me?  AND- how can I EVER trust you, what you say, what you feel and how you will feel tomorrow?  You know what asshole- you don’t want to live without regret?  Well, here is one for you!  I bet this classic man probably would probably be on the phone trying to find whatever girl came in third, using his now broken heart as his “in.”  Now I know why I never watched this crap to begin with- and seriously, I would not be heartbroken over a guy that cried that much anyway- and that was only watching the highlights.  What does that say about his character- after I dumped you I cried and cried then I proposed to Melissa and we were very happy and I jumped into the swimming pool with her and my kid.  Yeah, really torn there buddy- what was she bad in the sack or something?  I guarantee “the chemistry changed” probably means he couldn’t get it up and in his narcissistic mind he blamed her.  Freud was right, it’s all about the penis.

Speaking of break-ups, this isn’t technically a break up, but there is a nice guy I’ve seen a few times- sporadically, that its time to tell that I have no interest in dating any longer.  I know it should be like a band-aid- quick and fast, but I am very bad at the breaking it off point- I admit.  Maybe I will take him on a television show- that’ll make it better.  Maybe, I will tell him I am in love with someone else and I need to see where that goes.  Maybe, I will tell him it’s not him it’s me- except its not in this case- it really is him. . . Maybe I will tell him the truth- All my friends think you are in the closet. . . and you are very insecure and if you ask me one more time if something is okay, I am going to punch you in the face.  Hell, maybe I will just punch him in the face- that ought to do it.

Man, I know tonight’s girls night, but I think I have too much pent up anger- may need to go to the gym and hit the punching bag for awhile. . .

Or, just meet the girls for the usual and get their advice- now that should be pretty funny.

No more reality tv for me in sin city. . .

So my friend called me today because her man asked for a “break.”  Just some time to gather his thoughts and feelings.  The cynic in me said- Oh Please.  Men!  Really, I think its so stupid!  She is convinced that the break will be what he needs and maybe it is.  I really hope for her that this is what he needs to come to miss her and come to his senses, but deep down, but I can’t help thinking that if she was the  one it wouldn’t be so difficult for him to just commit.

I understand now that we are older, we are all coming with baggage- kids, divorces, break-ups, betrayals- not even to go into our mommy and daddy issues, but I also believe there is a time to realize we are grown-ups.  We are not in high school playing the stupid who can date the head cheerleader game anymore.  Let’s face it, the captain of the football team is probably pumping gas somewhere or passed out in his recliner with his beer belly hanging  out of his wife beater.

Okay, I think I got off point there . . . the point is when we find ourselves in this situation, really caring for and loving someone that just can’t seem to commit back to us what is the answer?  I feel as if its pain at this point that she is putting on herself by allowing to be treated this way, but she feels as if misery with the hope is better than not having him.  Is it better to hang on to hope or just save ourselves the trouble?  I’ve just seen that we are all different to different people, and I have seen men that were horrible suddenly become the stand up guy because they met “the one” and suddenly all of those things that seemed like such a pain before weren’t because they now wanted to do those things. . .

In the end I use this analogy:

I am southwest airlines.

Please feel free to bring something to read, but I don’t want your old issues.

Only 1 carry-on bag allowed.  All other baggage must be checked.

Oh, and if your joining the crew- there is definitely a non-compete clause.

Single in sin city. . . the only way to fly!

I think of myself as a pretty reasonable person. I try to see the entire picture before I make decision on things. I try to reach out to people and reason with them when I feel we are not the same page and see if we can agree or figure things out……but I have come to conclusion…I just do not understand men, nor do I think I ever will….Now please don’t take this as man bashing I really am trying not to so HELP ME HELP YOU or understand this world of theirs that they think they only belong too….Is it that serious that you have to play with ppl emotions…where are the true ppl at???

I try to be a loving person in relationships and support them when needed but when my needs are not being met, well then after several attempts to reason with this THING we call MAN….and try to show them how I care….they just walk away….because it becomes too difficult to STAY in their mind and work things out, its easier to run..or may be its the GRASS is Greener on the other side syndrome….but if you are not watering and feeding the grass you are standing on…if it DIES and Shrivels up…then OF COURSE the grass is greener on the other side..but eventually it will die too because you will NOT water and feed that grass either…………so if we are always in search of the next best thing, how do you know if you are ever to get your just reward…well stick around for it…if you are always missing out, then may be you need to stop and smell the flowers in the grass you have already started to plant and feed and water IT may surprise you and GROW…..but if those flowers are dying all the time along with the grass…may be you just need to take a look at yourself and see what you are doing wrong……….sorry for all the metaphors but may be we just need a better way of looking at things….

So I have to ask myself…what am I doing wrong? Am I just attracting the SAME Man just different face…..And then what is up with when you have someone and YOU THINK the grass is greener on the other side you keep trying to sneak back over to my yard again? If you didn’t treat me right the first time…then why the h@ll am I going to think you will the next time? Now may be I am not being understanding who knows….but I tried…and got tired of being pushed away….It’s UP to YOU to be the MAN you say you are and stop calling and hanging up on me when I answer because you are having second thoughts…if you really care then FIGHT for what you want if you don’t STOP wasting my time……………lets grow up people…I am all about being fair but its time for you to BE fair to me!!!!

The light is yellow no longer green………….so be cautious on your approach because it may turn red and bringyou to a halting stop before you know it…which  means TIME IS Running out………..

Or like MJ song “MAN IN THE MIRROR”
Here’s quote or food for thought….

“BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU SEEK”

By,
Reflection in the Mirror

So I had another great girl’s weekend which really culminates in me throwing in the towel on this dating bit.  I don’t even want to think about dating for awhile and my adventures, well, they are a lot more hilarious lately anyway.  . .

So I went out Saturday night and I was a bit late (as always) so when I arrived I found my friends sitting at a table with this guy.  I figured we must know each other so I asked him if we had met before, but it turns out it was some guy R. rounded up and was buying her drinks.  Her- not me!  Anyway he stands up to shake my hand and I kid you not, comes up to my chin.  I know I may have to get over this height things but my CHIN!  I started laughing, because seriously, I might not have noticed if he hadn’t been polite and stood up to shake my hand.  Then my friends and I, sans shorty, decided to go get dinner where we noticed the complete absence of any man over the hieght of 5′10″.  It was midgets on parade at the Hard Rock Hotel.  They should have sold tickets.

Then we decided to hit Minus 5, just because we had never been there.  For those of you that don’t live in Vegas, it’s basically a club/bar in a walk in freezer where everything is made of ice- couches, walls, bars, tables, and even your drink glasses.  Before you go in, they make you put on these parkas and I had opened toed shoes, so I had to put on these snow boots.  Me and my friend were complaining to the girl at the freezer door- I mean seriously, how are you suppose to look cute and flirt when everyone is in the same parka and mittens?  What is this- the great equializer?  I thought that’s what the alcohol was for. . . anyway, after our first drink, our noses were freezing and it was pretty dead in there so we took our next drink to go.   Of course, R. asked if she could keep the glass which cracked me up as it was made of ice! 

So we decided to head to Eye Candy to finish our cocktail before heading home.  This is where we bumped into the craziest, zaniest, group of London-ites, right off the plane.  R got a complimentary lap dance and some snuggles.  I got hit on by a very fine, but very young man- although I have to say his abs were mighty nice!  It turns out his birthday is 1 day before mine.  Well, 1 day before and 10 years after- which we all had a good laugh about.  When I pointedly told him I wasn’t going to sleep with him in any way, shape or form, he left the table and went to firt with some girls sitting behind us.  I have to say it made me feel good that this young hottie was off sulking (I even heard a, “but I want M!”) even if all he wanted was an American shag for the evening.  Let’s face it- he hooked up with someone that night- and I went home and snuggled with my pillows- I think we both went to bed happy. . .

Sunday was a dim sum lunch and Confessions of a Shopaholic with some great girlfriends!  Now, that leading man- that’s my type of Britain!

“Till next time!  Party this weekend and my best girl from TX is coming in a couple of weeks!  Woohoo!  Now there will be some adventures worth blogging about!

Still single, still picky, and still having a blast in sin city!

So after dating a guy I met off-line for about a month, I decided to get right down to it?  How come he hadn’t made a move yet?  We’d seen eachother four times since meeting off line and while he’d give these really long passionate hugs, he never tried to sneak a kiss or cop a feel.  Was he gay?  I decided to Facebook him and get straight to the point.  “We’ve been going out for a little bit now and you haven’t even tried to kiss me.  What’s up!?”

He jokingly said that he was gay, but I know better because I saw a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend making out on the beach (Probably something he should have taken off his Facebook before attempting to date).  Anyway, he asked if friends with benefits was okay with me.  W/o thinking I said sure, because ever girl needs a little loving, but honestly; should I have been insulted or flattered?

I think that no matter what, I’d take it as an insult.  There is a guy and he’s saying; “You’re attractive enough to want to sleep with, but I don’t want you all to myself!”  Now, I’m am in no way, shape or form against getting in where I fit in, but I don’t w

Thoughts ladies?