it’s been a while since i last blogged and since then life has been the same (ups and downs) and of course drama with everything in my life.  i think i am just a walking drama magnet because something always has to happen to me…but maybe if i don’t share  anyof these drama with anyone then it wouldn’t be drama….hmmmm this is a bit too much thinking at 11pm on a Sunday night!  especially after working out for the 4th time this year…wow, what’ up with that 4th theme today?  anyway, back to my story.

so i decided to give it one more shot…the 4th time with someone that i shed many tears for.  is it worth it?  is it the right decision?  afterall then i wouldn’t be single in sin city anymore…i guess “single” has a lot of meanings.  it can mean that you have a boyfriend but you are not married yet or single as in all by yourself.  sometimes it’s nice to be on your own because you can play as much as you want and date whomever you want.  but these are mostly temporary happiness…to me i think there is some type of void or emptiness when you don’t have someone at the end of the night to hug or snuggle with and just chat about your amazing day at work, what upsets you…etc.  just sharing with another person…of course girlfriends are there to listen, lend a shoulder but it’s just different.

i am still the person i am when we broke up for the 3rd time…i definitely have changed throughout my relationships but i think ever since i moved to Vegas 3 years ago, i have been on my best behavior playing my gf role but i just have been meeting the wrong guys…well, i hope that this time he really changed or is willing to try to change.  you never want to change someone but if it’s maturing from still wanting to play the field, i think it’s a bit different.  rather than forcing the person to be ready, they have to do it on their own terms.  i know i wanted it to work or try again because i do still get the warm fuzzy feelings inside me when i see him.  also just little things he says that makes me feel like he is looking forward to having a more meaningful relationship…

sometimes you meet someone that you think may be right for you at another time in your life, maybe at the time you were too immature to realize that they were so good…sometimes it’s too late when you finally realize that but sometimes you still get that 2nd, 3rd or 4th chance…i am not sure if things would work out this time but at least i have his commitment of giving his 100% and with that i know it’s worth it to try one more time.    las vegas is such a difficult place to meet someone, i say it all the time to my girls in LA and NYC…they think it’s difficult everywhere!  finding someone you absolutely adore and to have them feel the same way about you is so much more difficult now than when you were in school.  is it because when we were younger, we didn’t think as much about the future?  so we just enjoyed the moment? 

that’s all for me for now…