So what I am about to say is really mean.  Really, really mean.  I was out the other day at the local bar when I noticed this couple.  She was older and truthfully not very attractive. He wasn’t very attractive either and when he stood up it was almost humorous how short and small he compared when next to her.  But I couldn’t help notice how happy they were.  Sitting there getting drunk off cheap beers.  Truthfully, I was pretty happy sitting there getting drunk off of cheap beer, but seeing there happiness for a moment made me lonely.

Is there really someone out there for everyone?  Does that happily ever after really exist?  Were these two that much more enlightened than I, or was this just a karmic equilibrium.  Her not being that attractive seeing past someones height, and he being so short, able to see past, well. . . her size. . .

So when I sit there on the other side of the bar, envious of their happiness, is it suddenly comes clear to me that most of this I am probably doing to myself. . . except, I just can’t help it and I really don’t want to change it.  I kind of like just bitching about it, besides- then what would I blog about?

In the meantime- cheers to the couple at the bar and  to believing that there is someone for everyone.

No not that- but when I was younger I use to get these songs in my head. . . and I got one a week or so ago, so here goes. . .

Waiting for the day, when you turn around and say, you can’t believe you let me get away. . .

That day will never come, ‘cuz I’m the only one,

still thinking of. . .

us.

Went out with someone new, his eyes were just so blue, made me think of you. . .

not the thing to do,

when I’m the only one,

still thinking of. . .

us.

Okay dear readers, the last time I will grace you with bad, should have been written in high school poetry- promise!  But, I’m glad it is out in the world and hopefully will be out of my head.  And no worries about me. . . the rain will come again- and this time, maybe no umbrella, but a damn fashionable raincoat, with a nice lining and that perfect silhouette. . . okay, maybe I will just keep an umbrella in the car!

okay, so I apologize for the delay. . . so much to tell!!!  so out of the internet yahoos, there was a man last standing so to speak.  He was sooooo nice.  Seriously, we could have been a great couple. . . BUT. . . of course in the great cosmic joke that is my life, I end up out- just for a moment for some drinks after work and meet this guy.  This perfect, manly man, just enough of a challenge, just enough to keep me interested and not tell him to fuck off like my normal self with an outright jerk.  Tall, handsome, accent and actually lives in this country, which someday, dear readers you will get the back story of- I promise. . .

So, like an idiot, I give him my number.  We hang out.  He is an enigma.  That perfect bit of mystery and great conversation without ever really learning anything about the other- which is my specialty by the way- I am fan-effing-tastic with that shit. Anyways- good-bye last man standing!

Then as if by some cosmic, divine intervention, my ex that I can’t get over, skeleton in the closet, I wish it could be, but it can’t (mainly because he’s too stubborn to realize he’s in love with me, or so goes my delusion, and I am too stubborn to admit it first) suddenly, misses me to no end.  Sending me e-mails and calls me and even asks, “who he is” haha- like its nobody YET, but its like he KNOWS or something that I might, possibly, be interested in somebody because the rest of the time its ignores-ville.  But whatever, now I am back to that stupid wistful thinking of what might have been and find myself alone after a long night of working late.  At least he got me blogging again- right?  But whatever. . .

So anyone want to fix up this mess???

Just letting go in sin city. . .