Hello world!

Okay, so my friend and I keep talking about this blog we are going to do about all of our experiences here in Las Vegas.  Being single in this city is not the easiest.  I should know.  This will be the third city I find myself single in, although moving from my twenties to my thirties changes things just as much as moving across the country.  Eventually, we will get this into a video format hopefully to catch some of the funny, bitter, sarcastic, humorous and hopeful banter 2 single 30 somethings have in a city full of twenty somethings, drunk tourists and silicone.  ‘Till then, let’s keep this as anonymous as possible so that we can be as honest as possible and you can have a good laugh.

People, not life, are like a box of chocolates

I think people are like a box of chocolates (not life as in the famous quote for Gump’s momma).  Think about is, everyone is a different flavor and you can’t tell what it is from the outside.  Except the really funky ones, when you go, yup, definitely a macadamia nut in there. . . and then we go around trying to figure out which ones we like, dislike, we dislike but for some reason can’t stop eating, etc. . .

Let me elaborate-

some people adore coconut, some people hate coconut, some people have never tried coconut, some people take the coconut, chew it up and spit it out.  Some people simply devour the coconut. . . and some people are so scared that they will get coconut, that they stop eating chocolates. . .

So what am I?  After much thought, I’ve decided I’m peanut.  Not too sweet, not scary- a little comfort food. . .  most people like peanut, some love it, some are allergic too it, some develop allergies too it later in life and then have to say good-bye to the peanut.  Some people it just causes a rash, some people it kills. . .  just realized how bad this sounds- all I meant was some people can be perfect to some people and toxic to others. . .

I’d still rather be peanut than say, caramel. . . caramel is sticky and too sweet.  It’s okay if you just have one or two, but too much will give you a stomachache.  True, I can’t think of caramel being toxic to anyone as a peanut, but I think it makes more people sick.

So, what kind of chocolate are you?

After ellaboration with K. we also decided there are a ton more great analagies as well. . .like when some people suck the filling out and leave the piece, so you bite in expecting a filling and get an empty shell. . .  especially true after 30!

~Single and still trying the chocolates in Sin City.

Percentage of good lovers poll. . .

So this morning on the radio, they polled the women in the audience and asked what percentage of men that they had been with would they consider a good lover.  This got me to thinking. . .  because I would honestly have to say about 6%!  Yes, 6%!  How sad is that?

The funniest calls came from the younger women.  One girl was 22 – but she had a 25%.  Granted she admitted she had been with 12 men, so that’s about 1 in four, which is really lucky, but upon further questioning, I am positive she hasn’t quite figured out what good sex is yet.

I really laughed when the radio jocks asked one girl what constituted great sex.  Orgasms- duh!  I mean, if they have to ask, I feel sorry for their women.

Men let’s face it.  What percentage of sex do you have that ends in an orgasm?  Guess what our percentage is!

A toast to good sex in 2010 for all us singles in sin city!

If You Have To Ask- It’s Just Not Right

If You Have To Ask- It’s Just Not Right:

So last night my friend Jenny and I were having a conversation about decisions.  My thought is that the more you stew over a decision the more you know it wasn’t the right one.  The same applies for dating a man- so ladies, remember this;  When it’s right, you won’t have to ask.

We’ve all been there at one time or another where we meet a man who we feel is pretty alright…However as time goes on the relationship we had such high hopes for begins to head south. He stops calling/texting and we’re no longer a priority.  Instead of accepting the fact that this one just didn’t work out we keep pushing.  We being to analyze our past encounters allocating points for and against our case that he’s still interested.

Actually….. he’s not.  Men and women are animals and it’s our animalistic instinct to go after what we want.  I think sometimes as women we forget that men, regardless of their inability to be worth anything (That was a JOKE!)  know exactly how to get what they want.  When a man wants to succeed- he finds a way to make it happen and he’ll do the same if he wants to be with a women. 

So I know that for a lot of you this isn’t the best news, but I will offer some advice; allow yourself to be pursued!  If this was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- THAT would be the golden ticket  because let’s think about it.  At the end of the day we all (Maybe) want to be with a man who we know loves us and wants to be with us.  We’ll never get to that point by pushing or dragging a man into a situation he never wanted to be in in the first place.  If you allow yourself to be pursued you’ll know that the reason he’s there is for no other reason than it being HIS desire. 

So how do you allow yourself to be pursued?  Do nothing but be responsive!  This goes back to my statement before about men and women being animals.  If the nerdy little white boy who asked you to dance last weekend was able to look you up and is now doing some light internet stalking  over Facebook- why isn’t the successful broker able to do the same.  He is- but we make excuses for the reasons he isn’t and honestly… when we look at this long term who would you rather come home to?  Someone that cares enough to put in the work because he feels you’re worth it, or the person that you’ll have to work to keep engaged?    Some women like a challenge and for them I would say;  to each her own.  But for me, I want to know that you’re there of your own personal desire.

Is Timing Really Everything?

Is timing really everything?

It’s my thought that timing is everything, especially in a relationship.  That’s why you can meet the perfect man but be unable to fall in love.  If you really stop to think about it maybe the reason you  haven’t found a long term mate or someone you feel is worth dating is because you don’t want that in your life, right now.  And instead of accepting that fact (Because the American dream comes complete with a house, a white picket fence, 2.5. children and half a dog!) , you explain and explain and explain.

So here’s  some food for though.  Although we all have an end goal- no matter what it may be (Mine is to find companionship with someone who cares about me and makes me happy-ring or no ring), sometimes our behavior is contradictory to what we’re searching for.  However, I challenge you all to accept your behavior for what it is and not to feel pressured to explain your actions to yourself or even the girlfriend who asks; “What are you doing?” 

Speaking of explanations; who said, ‘Just ‘cause’ isn’t an acceptable answer ? Remember that with age comes wisdom;  wisdom brings security and security equates to confidence.  All of which take time.  Even if you’re unable to  process  or explain your behavior today, give it time it’ll come.  Because when you muddle through your thoughts it brings more clarity to your behavior that you won’t have to defend.

 I guess more than timing this blog post is about being okay with your decisions- no matter what moral weight they carry or the backlash or praise that you receive for them.  Because really- the only ‘good’ decision is the decision that sits well with you.

Gift Giving Advice for Men

ok, so I promised a blog on gift giving advice as a follow up to my last blog.  This is just something I noticed men tend to get wrong- at least in my experience.  So, I started thinking about it, and I think I found a flaw in the thinking.  See, men tend to give us things we don’t have- which, you are probably thinking, why is that such a bad thing.  Well, you see, most women I know are successful enough to at least get most of the things we really, really want (unless its just something way out of our price range, but you will see where I am getting at).

See, the flaw in this is that, let’s say, you notice we never where a watch.  So you think, ok, she doesn’t have a watch, so you get us one.  Then we thank you, but then you get upset that we never wear it.  What you don’t realize is that a girl that doesn’t wear any watch at any time, most likely, just doesn’t like to wear watches. . .

Now, a correction to this theory is actually to notice what we have a lot of, and then get us a nice one!  See, if you notice she has a ton of purses- then she obviously LOVES purses, and a really nice one she doesn’t have would probably make her soooooo excited, plus it proves that you really know her. . .

Now, this rule can be broken, if you listen to the hints.  Now the hints aren’t really hints, because we actually feel like we are hitting you over the head with them.  Like, every time I watch football, and I give a little sigh and say, man, I really need a Witten jersey.  That means, get me a Witten jersey.  Or, when we pause at a window (normally more than once) and give a little sigh and longing look at the item in the window.  We never do this subtly. . . so right now, if you are clueless, you are really just guilty of not paying attention!  (This goes for your mother, sister, grandmother, any other female you have walked through a store with around a holiday).

And if all else fails- go to Tiffany’s.  We love the little blue box.  Even that girl that says she just doesn’t get it- her heart will skip a little beat when presented with a little blue box.  And believe it or not, they have things in all sorts of prices ranges from the reasonable to the extravagant, but it’s really all about that box.  (But don’t try to fake it because we can recognize the mark, and even if she can’t someone will, then you will be in super bad trouble when she is showing it off and some bitch lets on that its not a real Tiffanys.)

Oh- BUT, if you are not proposing, but you are in that gray area of time in the relationship, get her a necklace or something in a larger box, not anything that would resemble a ring box, or else your just screwed, and we all deserve a merry christmas!

Next up an update on my two dates last weekend and then I am trying snowboarding for the first time Friday.  hahahahahahaha! Or, as I like to call it snow falling.   I am already cracking myself up on that one.  So we will see how my typing fingers and writs feel Saturday. 

Single and snow falling soon in Sin City.

What the hell happened here?

Time for a good rant- On Men and Women. . . tee hee!

Guys there is something you need to realize.  Women over think everything.  We analyze and assume and come to conclusions – sometimes right and sometimes wrong.  (This is especially true and humorous at the beginning of a new relationship.)  You will never get it.  It’s futile to try. . .  Case in point. . .

Boy tells girl- “listen to this song- it’s a good jam”.  Girl says okay.  Then she goes and buys the song, listens to it over and over and reads the lyrics.  The lyrics are all about a boy that does not love a girl.  Girl thinks, “why would he send this?  He must be trying to tell me something.”  Now there are a few different types of personalities at play here.  There is the non-confrontational girl.  She simply shuts down.  They may dance around and around the subject, but communication has broken down, and the boy is wondering, what the hell happened here?  There is also the manipulative and passive aggressive type that then questions the boy using strangely coded and seemingly benign questions for which the boy knows something is at play but isn’t quite sure what, and the boy thinks, “man she’s gotten weird.  What the hell happened here?”  Then there is the confrontational girl.  This conversation goes something like- girl, “are you trying to tell me something?”  Boy says, “what are you talking about.”  Let’s all face it, the song was mentioned in passing a week before and he has no clue what the hell the girl is talking about.  Girl says, “the song, it’s all about how this guy doesn’t love this girl.”  Boy says, “it does? it’s a good jam, did you hear the drum rift in the middle?  Never listened to the lyrics.”  Girl says, “oh.”  Boy thinks to himself, “that was a weird conversation, wonder what the hell happened here?”

Here is the other thing- this one is especially relevant since Christmas is coming up.  No matter what- yes, she expects a gift.  This goes for birthdays, anniversary’s, Christmas, and even fake holidays invented by the greeting card industry.  Even if your broke.  Deep down the fact that your broke and she “understands” doesn’t really matter either.  And yes, it is the thought that counts, but its the thought that goes into the amount of money you spent on the gift in relation to your financial situation as well (just being honest and laying it out there.”  In other words, no matter what she says or how she acts, break down and get her something nice if the girl is the one you want.  Seriously.  Harsh, but true.   And don’t think for a moment that the gift won’t be analyzed either.  Even if you’ve been married awhile.  It goes into this mental storage unit in the head and she will always remember the year she got socks.

And here is perhaps the biggest lesson of all.  Yes, we analyze and over think and drive ourselves crazy which in turn drives you crazy, because yes, you never know what we are thinking or how we came to some insane conclusion on some statement you made a month ago that you don’t even remember- but here is the kicker- women, I hope you are paying attention- see, most of the time, when we come to our conclusions after careful analyzing of what we believe to be the situation, we (women) are WRONG.  (Put this down in history folks, I’m admitting to being wrong.)

And knowing that we are wrong, sometimes, sometimes, when you pull the passive agressive bullshit on us, get upset and we stand there looking at you like a deer caught in the headlights, and we say, “what are you upset about?” and you (the men) shut down and look at us like, “she always knows everything, how can she not know what I’m upset about” guess what guys- we have no freakin’ clue.  Yup, that’s right.  It’s just like the time that we threw the dinner plate at you a month after we got socks for Christmas.  And you thought to yourself, “what the hell happened here?”

Since Christmas is coming up, in the spirit of the season, I think my next blog will be gift advice. . .

~Single and in the spirit in sin city

Hand shakes?

So the nice, local guy- I bumped into him.  He kind of cornered me and asked me what was up and he wanted to see me, etc. etc.  So I explained that things were kind of crazy for me right now, which they are, and that I had a guest coming in this weekend, that there was a romantic underlying reason for the visit.  So I am suppose to call him after the visit and let him know where things stand. . . which I kind of think is just odd. . . oh, he also shook my han after the conversation.  Like we were sealing a business deal or something.  Am I the only one that finds this odd?

So of course, since I have something with potential, I mean it’s nothing really, just for the first time in a long time something with some potential, my ex, who has this magical ability, and who is also DATING someone that lives in his freakin’ country, tells me he is thinking about coming here in January.  But see, the thing is, once I show any interest or completely self-sabatoge whatever has potential here, in the United States, he will suddenly get busy, or cancel, or get serious with this other girl, or his dad will get sick, or his grandmother. . . I think I just need to focus on what is here, whether it’s just a potential or whatever, because you just can’t go back, you know?  Good, let’s shake on it!  LOL!

~Still single, wish me luck on the weekend, busy in sin city!

It Never Rains But It Pours. . .

So I think I probably have another post with this title.  I think it’s been awhile since I posted!  I dated a little here and there.  Mainly out of towners- haha!  Not sure if we can call that dating, but. . .fun to say the least.  (My friend T says I am avoiding commitment, I say I am enjoying my 30′s).

So, there was a guy with potential, but he lives in another city (and state, let’s face it, it’s not like Reno is a plethora of single guy hotness, nor is Laughlin!).  We see each other when he comes into town.  It kind of worries me though, because what if he has girls like that in every city???  YIKES!  He’s really cool and nice and smart though, and we always have fun, so, in the spirit of singleness, why not?  right?

Then I met a guy (actually while I was on a trip in another city!), that was a blast!  He is younger, but super smart and way fun.  I never really thought we’d see each other again, but some long distance friendship- cool.

Then, I actually got asked out by a decent guy here.  Recently imported for work, so fresh off the train and not jaded or swarmed by attractive hostesses that are looking for the next. . . well, we’ll just say free meal.  haha

Now, this wasn’t all at once, but 3 potentials over the last 3 or so months is way better than my pickings usually are, even if there are issues with each of them, it’s better than sitting at home on a Friday night with a bucket of bonbons.

Here is the story to explain the title of the blog:  Get a call from guy#2- hey, I am coming into town.  I just had to see you!  Yea!  I think to myself!  Wow!  I mean after my last ex-long distance boyfriend, this was a total shocker and a welcome suprise!

Then I get a call from guy#1.  Guess what!  I rearranged a meeting and I will be in town and I want to take you out!  Let’s paint the town.  Ok, I think to myself.  I think we can all see where this is going.

So guy#3 had to get the “things are complicated speech.”  I mean, even I can’t be that heartless!  This is too much!

Luckily, #1 flies out the morning #2 flies in- but even this has left me feeling a little guilty.  Am I over thinking this?  I think B said it best, “just remember guys pull shit like this all the time and they never even think twice about it.”  Maybe. . . but thats part of the reason I enjoy being a woman- you know the feeling stuff.

So, I haven’t been blogging because I haven’t had much to say.  Expect a flurry of activity next week, if this doesn’t blow up in my face!

BTW- The other girls in the group think this is awesome.  I always thought I’d earn honors for, oh, I don’t know, doing something positive for charity, getting promoted, discovering something cool. . . something other than a man juggle.  Hahahah!  Sorry, that sounded funny even to me. 

So be sure to check back dear readers. . . or I should say reader, since I broke the golden rule of blogging in not blogging, but it seems some excitement may be coming my way!

~Suddenly not so bored, but def. still single in sin city. . .

Where are all the men my age???

I have never thought 30 was old. I have never thought 31 was old. I have never thought 32 was old. . . until now. It seems every guy I meet is YOUNG! We are talking 21, 22, 24, 26. Where are all the guys my age? I’m looking in varied places, but obviously the wrong places. Are they any good men in Vegas over 30?

So I even made an exception with a 25 year old, only to find out he was actually 23- I guess I have to start checking ID’s or something! Then I actually got the pre-emptive dump- you know, the – I just got out of a serious relationship, yada, yada, I hope I didn’t give you the wrong idea. You know what though, I am old, because I actually started laughing, then had to look the poor poodle in the eyes as he realized he was so far off base. I was making a “fun” exception at 25. . . I mean 23! What are we going to talk about- how much fun it was babysitting his friends?

A night in Vegas w/ an online twist…

So a friend of mine came to town this past weekend..him and his fellas….he asked if I would hang out with him on Saturday…I said sure. Last time I saw him was like 4 yrs ago..we have been “FRIENDS” for over 10 yrs use to work together in my past life when I was married. We never dated just were friends never “hooked up” just friends..but not with his lack of trying…is it possible for men and woman to be just friends? I really don’t know anymore, I have some male friends that are just that friends…not saying we don’t have a past some we may have a past but realized we were not a match or our soul mates and decided we were better off friends..no back pockets or any thing like that, just better off as friends and only want the best for eachother…and then there are some male friends I am just that with friends…never dated or slept with….well one I have slept in the same bed with but that was it lol..seriously nothing happen…

But anyway back to my story…so my friend comes into town but before he arrives, he informs me that a girl is also coming into town and wanted to make sure I was ok with that, now I said why wouldn’t I be? You and I are just friends! Then after I tell him I was..he proceeds to tell me that his friends are off limits to me and they better not try hitting on me…..I was like why? He had no real answer for that one.  Geesh why do men always hope that friends will lead to more? Its been over 10 yrs and you haven’t gotten me in bed yet…I would think you would get a glue and realizse that ship has sailed a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago. Then he proceeds to tell me that this chick is not his girl and he informed her, that he will be talking to other girls and she kinda invited herself. So basically told her not to get her feelings hurt when he blows her off right? Well my fear was she was going to assume something was going on with us…when there wasn’t, so I tried to get one of my GF to go too for back up but she bailed on me…thanks a lot R….anyway..so Saturday comes I pick him up from the airport, drop him off at the hotel, meet his other male friends and leave and tell them I will meet up with later that night for the night out.

Saturday night comes along..and I meet them at the designated spot..which turns out to be where we have dinner and go dancing. His “friend” is there..she seemed cool…when I first met her…the guys were cool so pretty chill night so far…dinner goes by, I pay for my dinner and drinks…wanted to make it clear I was not there with my friend or anyone else. Then we go upstairs to go to the “CLUB”! Well thats when the drama starts…..the guys are all getting geared up and in their groove to chase after the women..and boy could you see it their faces….so they tell us, me the “GIRLFRIEND” of my friend who was just a friend…supposedly….that they were going to walk around….so the boys leave and we are left at the bar…so we start talking….and I wanted to make sure she was not assuming anything so I told her me and my friends history and then she tells me theirs..turns out they met online and had been chit chatting for over 7 yrs online!!!! She thought she knew him pretty well and this was the first time they had actually met face to face…and here she was basically being blown off with me…so they could chase girls….so…I looked at her…realizing just how many times I have done the internet dating thing and how many times I have been disappointed in the date and I knew just how hurt and disappointed she must have been and how much of a wasted trip it must have felt for her after all these years of a build up….and I was disappointed in my friend…don’t get me wrong he was not mean and in all fairness he really did warn her and tell her this was more of a guys weekend….but she thought at least that Saturday night she would get a little more of his attention that night!

So I looked at her and said come on lets go find our own Game to chase….so we went back downstairs, walked around and a few mins later..two TALL goodlooking brothers walked in….I looked at her and said now thats what I am talking about…grabbed her hand and we went on by them and did our little back and forth looks and then we went back up stairs, few mins later they were up there dancing around us and laughing and hanging out with us….one turned out to be a cop from here and the other was in town and was the cops brother and was here for his birthday…so he was talking to my friend, and I was talking to the cop…who was 6’4″ and mmmmm just yummy….BUT and yes there is a but….though the chemistry was off the chain..and Iwas feeling him and was hoping we would talk and get to know eachother, he soon started to act like the guys we came with….talking to every female around and then when he got bored would come and try grabbing on me…so when his hands tried to go up my dress, as typsy as I was…well that was it for me…I pushed him away the best I could….which was not easy, he whispered something in my ear about going home with him but I was turned off and over it by then….and had my back to him and let him walk away….my new girlfriend was still enjoying his brothers company…and I saw our original friends still around but so I knew she was ok..but I knew my night on the town was over…I had seen enough for one night….told her good bye text my other friend he was barried on amongst the dancers on the dance floor and said good bye and called it night.  I was happy I met her and was there for her…and she ended up having a good time but disappointed again in Vegas MEN….and heck even my friend from back home and reminded me why we never dated…I must have picked up on that a long time ago to stay away….

Now what sucks is I really was feeling the vibe of this cop..but he had to get so disrepectful and to grabby feely…whats bad is I might have hung out with them all and dated this guy if he would have had patience but I guess he was just in the moment and wanted a piece of ass and frankly I am over the piece of ass thing…or one night stand kind of men..not that I ever go home with the one nighters but hey lets be real I have had a moment or two…in my younger days….but not for me anymore..and to see men my age act like..I was like wow..there is no hope for a woman who really wants to find REAL LOVE out there…all men want is sex….so may be I just feel defeated right now in the love department but it was really disappointed, to see what my new friend went through with my male friend and see a NICE looking well groomed probably has his shyt together for the most part to be a cop but to act like some sex crazed teenager and practilly molest me right there it was just wow disappointing to say the least…

 

But hey the good thing out this weekend..is I now have a new friend and she turned out to be pretty cool….and we exchanged numbers and facebook info…and now she really has someone she can come party with in Vegas or just get out of town with when she needs to..she lives only a few states over..something tells me I will see more of her than my friend from back home…which reminds me..I gotta tell him about himself when he gets back home…what an ass…..

 

Another Vegas dating nightmare….one luv…still dazed and confused in vegas.